I Used To Hate Mondays
by Miss Semantics
Summary: A follow up fic to "Let Them Eat Cake." The Joker and Harleen have a Monday session revolving around how the Joker obtained his Chelsea grin.
1. Chapter 1

Hello again my darling readers! First, I want to thank all of you who have been kind enough to read and review my other two fics! It means the world to me!! Originally this story was never going to be written, but I'm penning it due to the fact that I've received several requests for a follow up to "Let Them Eat Cake" 1 and 2. So here it is… I hope ya'll like it! Remember to review please! I love constructive criticism! :)

Disclaimer: I would like to reinforce the fact that I do not own any of these characters! I simply manipulate their actions and dialogue for the amusement of my readers and myself. Please read but don't sue!

I Used To Hate Mondays…

Upon his entrance into her plush office, located on the forth floor of Arkham Asylum, Harleen Quinzel noticed immediately something very unusual about the appearance of her patient. Forget the permanent Chelsea grin affixed to his face or the odd orange jumpsuit… It was something entirely _different_ that caught her attention.

"Why may I ask," Harleen said coolly as the Joker seated himself across from her on the interview couch "Are you not wearing the makeup that I gave you Saturday? You asked for it repeatedly and yet you mock me by showing up to our session without it on. I'm afraid I am a _tad_ confused Mr. J. Surely you are capable of explaining this to me?" Harleen's voice was bordering on angry, though she tried very hard to conceal it. Honestly, was she supposed to be pleased when he was openly rejecting her gift to him? He simply returned her comment and question with a broad smile.

"Harrrrllleeyyy…" he cooed "Why so _serious_?" He winked and shifted his weight on the leather sofa, his smile faltering momentarily as he strained against the confinement of his straight jacket "If you're looking for a _logical_ reason…" his voice melted into giggles at the absurdity of his statement "I would be more than… _obliged_ to give it to you."

Harleen stared at him, captivated by his statement. Was the Joker really suggesting that he would willingly divulge a secret to her? She felt her throat go dry as he opened his unpainted mouth to speak again.

"I assumed that you would want due compensation for the uh," his tongue poked out of his mouth and ran across his scarred lips making a light smacking sound "special little… gifts you gave me a couple days ago. Ya' know doll face?"

Swallowing deeply, Harleen shook her head in the negative. "No Mr. J, I wouldn't want you to feel as though you were forced or coerced…" But he quickly interrupted cocking an eyebrow and letting out a whoop of laughter.

"Trust me little harle_quin_, you can't force me to. Do. A. Thing." He annunciated each word, making sure she understood. "And don't try to use your stupid med school gimmicks on me sister," he spat "I _know_ better. I know, I know, I know, I know…" his voice trailed off as he broke into an even wider smile.

"I am going to tell you precisely what your eager little ears want to hear. Tell me Harl, do you think I'm ugly? Hideous, you know any of those sweet little synonyms that match up with repulsive, disgusting, heinous, and repugnant? Tell me, I am soooo anxious to know what you _really _think." He beckoned her with his eyes that glinted in the offices low lighting. "C'mon Har_ley_, I'm waiting."

"No," she whispered, her throat so dry she could barely speak. Swallowing, she repeated herself more vehemently. "No, I do not think you're ugly. I can't even believe you would ask such a question." She said firmly.

The Joker erupted into a fit of laughter, howling and convulsing. When his outburst had reduced itself to giggles he addressed her again, a more serious, guttural tone replacing his usual sing song.

Locking his eyes on her he growled: "Wanna' know how I really, _genuinely_ got these scars? Better get out some paper Harley girl. I'm gonna' tell you about my wife."

Okay so chapter one is really short, basically just an introduction. But trust me, I have already written chapter two and I think this story will head in a nice and dark direction…. :) Please review and I will update soon! Hugs!!


	2. Chapter 2

Alright, I'm back and here is chapter two

Alright, I'm back and here is chapter two! Things certainly heat up here as I give my account of how the Joker got his scars. This idea stemmed from the story Mr. J tells Rachel Dawes in TDK. If you haven't seen the film, I don't want to spoil it for you so this is my heads up! Otherwise please enjoy and enthuse or give criticism via a review! It would me much appreciated!

Disclaimer: Just to make sure you really get it: I don't own anybody!! Except my twist on the Joker's wife… lucky lady! ;)

I Used To Hate Mondays…

Harleen looked at him, her face completely unmasked as she gaped at the Joker.

"Everything I write down is read by my superiors. I wouldn't want them to know something that may be a sensitive issue for you. What you tell me I consider valuable and I want you to understand that." Her voice was full of conviction and the Joker felt a strange twinge deep in his chest, something he hadn't felt in so long…

"We got married when we were both eighteen," he began "Stupid, ignorant and broke, yet we didn't seem to care. You know that feeling you get when you're in love Doc? The one that makes you do the stupidest shit in the world but you just don't _care_?"

Harleen shook her head in the negative and the Joker sighed his eyes closing as if he were in pain and if perhaps he wishes hard enough it will go away. He slowly opens his eyes revealing chocolate brown orbs that make her heart skip a beat and her face flush. Glancing down Doctor Quinzel whispers "Eighteen is so young."

"Trust me Doc," he says, eyes burning into hers as she lifts her head to meet his gaze. "I know. Anywho, we got hitched and moved into some crummy little hole in the wall 'cause we couldn't afford anything else, and basically ate Spaghetti O's and Fruit Loops until we could get good jobs. Needless to say our parents weren't thrilled, especially her Pops. He was the head of a gang operation that jacked pricey guns and other WMD's and sold them to a variety of street thugs. Anyway, he didn't like his only daughter running off with some _nobody_ like me…"

He breaks into laughter startling and causing Harleen to jump at the sound of his maniacal giggling. Calming himself he runs his tongue across his scars, which she has noted is quite a common habit, and resumes his story.

"So something strange, and I'm talking _bizarre_ Doc, happened. My blushing bride's Daddy O gives me a job offer. Weird, because he hates me right? So I accept, because maybe if I work for him he will understand what his sweet little baby sees in me. And so one night he asks me to meet him at one of his warehouse where he stocks a large amount of specialty knives that he sells to muggers and collectors alike. 'Real beauties' he says 'But do you know why these knives are so popular with my customers'"

He closes his eyes again as if he is watching the events unfold on his own personal movie screen, his eyelids showcasing the memories in high definition. Except this time they don't open…

"I said 'No sir, I don't know why they are so popular.' And he looks at me and smiles saying 'Because when you really want to savor the moment and get to know someone you use a knife. Human nature really comes out. I asked you to come here so I could get to know my new son in law.' And he pulls out some hot steel and puts it to inside my mouth and leans close to my ear and says 'I just want to know you better. And maybe when my daughter knows you like I'm about to she'll change her mind and come back to daddy. I've got a sneaking suspicion that you are a _freak._'

The Joker opens his eyes slowly to find Doctor Quinzel leaning forward in her chair, her mouth in a wide O shape. He continues slowly…

"Needless to say Doc, we got to know each other real well that night. So when I finally staggered home, because he didn't want to kill me he wanted _her _to see me, I found her asleep on the bed. So, I went into the bathroom and stitched up my mouth with her sewing needle and some thread and tucked myself into bed next to her. The next morning I woke up to her screaming at me, cursing me, telling me what a _sick freak_ I am, how I ruin _everything_. You know why she was so upset? Because I didn't look good enough anymore. I was a real freak of nature and she couldn't handle it. It was alright if we were poor, but she would be _damned _before she was married to something like _me_. She was shallow and I loved her. And you know what Harl? _She couldn't stand the sight_ _of me_!! _She left!!_"

It was only now that he realizes there are hot tears streaming down his face that he can't wipe away because his arms are locked by the straight jacket. Instead he finds Harley at his side on the couch her cool hands brushing away the salty tears that are dripping down his face. He bites his lip in frustration at his weakness so hard that it bleeds; wanting to scream until the world melts away into darkness and the only thing he can feel is the red hot burning of his throat.

Harleen cups his face in her hands and touches her nose to his and whispers repeatedly, "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so, so, so, _sorry_." And she holds his face until he can manage to find his voice:

"So Harley, now I'm not just an ugly freak. I'm an ugly, _pathetic_ freak." He growls his words so saturated with bitterness that it pierces Harleen's heart.

"Quit saying that!" she yells, pulling back her hands and surprising the Joker as much as he can be surprised. "I told you that you are not ugly! And I don't believe you are pathetic or a freak either!" Harleen feels her blood pumping hot and fast through her veins, and it dawns on her that she has just spoken her true feelings. Since Saturday she had been trying desperately to pretend that what she felt was nothing, but in this moment she knew otherwise. He is staring at her with a gaze that completely unstitches her, and in return she let's her finger trace the smile that is carved onto his lips.

He closes his eyes and feels that strange twinge again, except now it is stronger than before and he knows that she causes it. He quits trying to shake the feeling and instead embraces it, opening his eyes to find her inches from him. He leans close to her until the distance has closed and brushes his lips against hers. She closes her eyes and leans in and they both make a mental note that therapy has just gotten a whole lot better.

The guards that escort the Joker to and from his cell arrive at 10:00 am sharp to find that the patient is far more cooperative than usual. Ignoring the clown the guards make small talk all the way to the maximum security hall to dispose of their ward, saying one to another: "You know, Mondays have got to be the worst day of the week."

The Joker lets out a short laugh and merrily replies in his standard sing song, "Oh, I beg to differ gentle_mennn_… See, I used to hate Monday, but now it's my favorite day of the week!" he cackles and the guards lay him down in his cell, locking the doors , and attempting to shake the goose bumps that had just spread across their bodies.

End Note: Okay, so I realize that was a bit cheesy, but the Joker crying bit was inspired by a comment I believe was made by Paul Dini. He said that everyone has seen the Joker laugh, but only Harley has seen him cry… Anyway that was my spin, so please review and tell me what you think!! : )


End file.
